Look, I know what it's like to be a fuckboy. If there was a fuckboy major, I could have had my Ph.D. in high school. I could have written three textbooks, published my own best selling novel, and even started my own religion; Fuckboyism. We'd worship the great Tucker Max. But that's not why I'm writing. I'm writing because I recently gave up the lifestyle. I found a girl that makes me happy. So I'm here to tell you the signs you need to look out for. The signs that'll tell you, "Hey. She's a special girl, so get your shit together and stop giving up being happy all the time with her for being happy for a night with a random girl."
The Different Start
It started with us hooking up when we were out drinking, then the same thing the next weekend. I remember neither of these occasions, and she never lets me hear the end of it. While I may not remember exact details, I do remember feeling something different than a random hook up.
Snapchat Stage Dos
We all do it. In fact, my first text to her was a Facebook message I sent at 2:30 in the morning (no memory of this either) that said "snap chat". Keep in mind I had never talked to her before, saw this message, and immediately thought I had blown my chance. But you'll stop Snapchatting other girls, and only want to see what she's sending.
Once you find things in common via 1-10 seconds of pictures, you'll start texting her and only her regularly. The real sign in this step is when you don't even realize it, but you're talking to her and only her.
The first sleepover, in my opinion, is one of the biggest steps. I'm not talking about her asking you-- I mean you asking her. Knowing you want her to sleep in your bed is actually a very satisfying feeling. Also, it's a big test. How well does she cuddle? Are you stuck with a dead arm and a faceful of hair? Does she snore? There's a lot that you'll figure out. If she does, do you like it? It means that she's someone you like having around for more than just a drunken night.
As a close friend of mine said to me very recently, "Dude. Once you have sober sex, it's real." Now, by sober sex, I really just mean not being drunk. Once that happens, it's something you remember vividly, something that's right on the brink of special.
You're a guy in his late teens to early twenties, you're bound to get shit from your boys for being "wifed up". As much as you don't want to admit it, you are, but you'll constantly catch yourself saying, "She's not my girlfriend." Once you've said that, the fuckboy life immediately starts to fade...
Drinking Without Her
I won't lie, this is a bit scary. You have the normal obscene amount of drunken hormones raging through your body, and she's not there. You know you're ready to give up the fuckboy life when the only thing on your mind when you're drinking is her and when you'll see her next.
Farting In Front of Her
The final, and easily biggest step is ripping a loud fart. Not kidding. Surprisingly, it's kind of funny to girls, but in a gross way. I'm sure you're saying to yourself something along the lines of how stupid I am, or how ridiculous is. Well you know what I say to naysayers? I say nay! Think about it! What is the scariest thing next to actually shitting your pants? Farting in front of a girl you think is hot. It's a fact. So if you're wondering if you're ready to give up being a fuckboy... just let one out loud and proud.