Stop Pretending To Have Fun On Social Media
New Phone Who Dis? |  Source: N. Leeper, Shutterstock

Stop Pretending To Have Fun On Social Media

It's usually better to genuinely have fun.

As the generation who has grown up alongside the creation and development of social media, we have lived much of our experiences through lenses and screens.

I think the most prominent issue with social media is the inability to truly enjoy yourself without documenting the fact that you are, indeed enjoying yourself. Wow, you're a college student at a party? Taking shots? At a darty? You are SO original! I've really never seen anything quite like that. Way to be a pioneer and take the road less traveled.

I have watched (and unfortunately participated in) countless falsified "candid" pictures. Have you watched those happen? If not, the basic formula (hehe double entendre) is this: While taking a solo shot, or a group picture, someone will say "OK now a candid one".

Candid means truthful and honest, not "let's stand here and pretend to be laughing when zero percent of anything is funny." This is precisely why we must keep vocabulary classes alive people! We are in the midst of a basic bitch epidemic!

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Feeling the need to document your whole life has epitomized on snap story. It's one thing to snap story occasionally when you're doing something special or making a funny post. It is totally different to post a 600 minute drunk documentation of the same thing you do every. Single. Damn. Weekend. We geeeeeet it, you drink natty.

My personal pet peeve is the same video that each and every one of your friends already has on their snap story. Did every single one of you really need to document that event?

I'm positive the world could've done without 10 versions of someone snorting a shot of vodka. I'm also pretty sure that you are consuming alcohol through the wrong head hole... but who knows man, this world is a crazy place.

Worry more about being in the moment rather than recording it. I understand wanting to have videos and pictures as memories, and you absolutely should have those. But those memories will carry much more weight if they weren't experienced through a screen.

It's pretty remarkable how much fun you have when you're not trying to prove it to anyone.

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New Phone Who Dis? |  Source: kylizzlesnapchats

Hold The Fuck Up With that Snap Story

Take it EASY

Lately, I have realized that people not only over-send snapchats, but they're also making snap stories more frequently. It really is unbelievable how people have six or seven snap stories a day and actually think we give a shit about what they are doing 24/7.

Everybody appreciates a funny story, snap stories can be very informative to see who's doing what for the night, but the constant stories of you doing nothing is v annoying. Here are some tips on how to not look like a douche via snapchat.

Parties
We get it, you're having a great time at this sick party, but the five-minute snap story is just super boring. Unless someone is falling, barfing or aggressively making out, I really have no interest.

Food
Now this might just be a pet peeve of mine, but the constant snap stories food is so annoying. Just eat your fucking burger instead of sharing it with all your friends. I only care if you're scarfing down a goddamn live chicken. Girls are the worst with this, honestly, and they never seem to know when to stop. I mean, c'mon, Sharon I don't need to know about your chia seed lunch.

Vacations
A pic once in awhile of a view or the city is a cool for sure, I've definitely done this before. But letting everyone know you're on this sick vacation honestly just makes you look like a spoiled little shit. You also make me feel pretty shitty when I'm looking at eight Bahama pics on your vacation while I'm stuck in the library for nine hours straight. Stop with the humble bragging.

Selfies
I'm not a person who takes selfies often, but I sure as hell don't mind seeing a few of smokeshows. But if you're a dude who takes at least five selfies and throws them all on your snap story, it's time to reevaluate some things.

Smoking Pot
Don't be the asshole who takes vids of yourself smoking pot on a Tuesday night. If it's funny, go ahead but in general, girls don't like it and you'll be labeled at as a fuck boy immediately.

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New Phone Who Dis? |  Source: N. Leeper, FlockU

5 Books You Should Power Through This Summer

Knowledge is power.

Need a back-up plan for any lazy days this summer, or do you just want to find a great beach read? Here are five page-turners guaranteed to pique your interest.

1. Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race
Haven't seen the movie Hidden Figures? Reading the book is the next best thing. Hidden Figures: The American Dream and the Untold Story of the Black Women Mathematicians Who Helped Win the Space Race, details the remarkable achievements of African American mathematicians called into service during the second World War.

Working in an all black computing group and segregated from their white counterparts, Dorothy Vaughan, Mary Jackson, Katherine Johnson, and Christine Darden still managed to help NASA win the space race without buckling under the pressure. How's that for inspiration?

source: goodreads.com

2. How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life
How to Be a Bawse: A Guide to Conquering Life is a hilarious collection of stories from Lilly Singh's own life meant to give readers a leg-up on becoming the most confident, successful, and happy "bawse" you can be. This isn't your typical how-to book, as Lilly places more stock in fighting tooth and nail for what you want instead of silently slaving away in hopes of catching a big break.

By the time that you finish this, you'll be more than ready to take on all summer has to offer.

source: goodreads.com

3. I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual
With quirky opinions on everything from social media and cultural obsession, to rampant drama in the televised world, Luvvie Ajayi gives her unique perspective on the increasingly digital lives that we all lead.

I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual is a collection of candid truths about modern day conundrums and a how-to for those of us who tread lightly when on the subject of pop-culture.

Source: goodreads.com

4. Nasty Women
Have you ever heard the term "nasty woman"? Well, the myriad of contributors who helped pen this book sure have, and are definitely making the most of it. Nasty Women is a collection of essays and accounts on what it's really like to be a woman in the 21st century.

Inequality, sexual assault, racial divides, immigration, and much more are explored amid this in-depth feminine viewpoint of modern society.

source: goodreads.com

5. It Gets Worse: A Collection of Essays
Shane Dawson, a popular YouTube personality, has come back with another hilarious collection of essays detailing even more stories about his personal life that are sure to have you snorting with laughter. It Gets Worse: A Collection of Essays is another shining example of Shane's quirky sense of humor.

From hiring psychics to being at odds with celebrities, Shane inspires everyone to keep it real by divulging his most relatable moments. Caught within the clutches of a dull day this summer? This book is sure to liven it up.

source: goodreads.com

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The New Snapchat Update Is Really Creepy

Stalker-level weirdness.

Opening my phone this morning, I noticed I had a bunch of new app updates in the app store. Like most people, I updated all the apps to get rid of that annoying little red notification number.

One of the apps to be updated was Snapchat. Without looking, I assumed that some new face filters or Snap story update was rolling out. But honestly, I wish I hadn't updated it.

Snapchat's new update, released yesterday, shares your location with all your snap buddies. Doesn't sound too harmless, right? Lots of apps do that. Until you take a look and realize that Snapchat has literally mapped out the entire WORLD, and your little Bitmoji appears on the map... right in your exact location.

I know, Bill Nye, I know....

The weirdest part is that this location tracker is SCARY accurate. I took a look this morning, and the map shows your location down to the exact STREET you're on. That is some stalker-level stuff.

I can see how this could be a fun way to add location stories, keep up with fun things that your friends are doing in different places, and enjoy stories from different cities, states, and countries. But think about it...how many of your Snap followers do you reeeeeally know? Do you only add your closest friends? Or anyone who adds you, without much of a second glance? Are you comfortable with all your Snap friends knowing exactly where you are at any given time? Yeesh.

Luckily, there's a way to hide your location from everyone but yourself, called "Ghost Mode", found in settings. It actually walked me through this privacy process when I opened the app after updating it. You can also choose to share your location with only a few select friends.

I happily put myself in Ghost Mode... yikes. Even in Ghost Mode, though, my little Bitmoji is still visible on the map, but her face is blocked out with the Snapchat ghost. I see some potential privacy complaints that could arise as a result of this.

I see where Snapchat is trying to go with this update. But if you're unaware of the update at first, like I was, just know that the app drops you on that little map automatically before you change the privacy settings. I personally think it's a bit creepy to allow everyone who follows you to know, quite literally, exactly where you are at all times.

So go and get yourself into Ghost Mode, friends, before that one ex-boyfriend who you kept on Snapchat starts stalking you.

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Use Social Media To Pick Your Major

Because nothing says more about you than your habits on social.

Instagram: You are totally with it and probably the queen/king of social media in general. You're super outgoing and love to share what you're doing and let people know just how fabulous you are. No brunch, beach, or GNO is a match for your filtering skills. You're creative and cool and pretty much run shit. You're definitely majoring in something creative and will most likely not get a typical 9-5 gig after graduation. There's a good chance that fashion or fine arts play a role in your curriculum.

Snapchat: Hello, flirty. You love the novelty of a 10-second Snap and spread the love with all your friends. It's just another place for you to let your crush know just how cute and fun you are. Probably a communications major, because well, you love to communicate. You're all about social interactions and people pleasing and a comm degree is your perfect match.

Twitter: You LOVE the drama. Whether it's celeb drama or a back and forth between some hometown acquaintances. You love to be in the know and on top of the gossip before anyone else. Sometimes you even get in a little 140 character beef yourself. You'd make a great PR major if you aren't one already. You're desire to be in the know so quickly and your experience with public drama would make you a great asset to your clients.

Facebook Oh honey, you're a little behind. Facebook simmered down with the launch of Twitter and pretty much bit the dust with the coming of our lord and savior Instagram. If you're still enthralled in a platform that's now made up of moms and weirdos from high school obsessively sharing cat videos, you need to check your calendar because you must have missed the last few New Years. It's 2016, doll face. Maybe make your New Year's resolution to get yourself back in the know.

Tumblr: You're like super artsy and creative, or at least you like to think you are. You're a little less than mainstream and probably like super introverted. You spend your time making friends on the internet, but hey, you've got a super cool page so go you. Oh, and there is also a solid chance there is at least some rainbow coloring in your hair, or has been in the past. Graphic design without a doubt. You're consumed in the digital world and appreciate the aesthetics involved.

Pinterest: If Tumblr is the North Pole, than you are the South. You're pretty much as basic as they come and that's totally OK. You spend your time pinning your future wedding, squat challenges you'll never do, and street style outfits that probably include Uggs. You're an elementary ed major and I really think everyone should be able to agree without any further explanation.

LinkedIn: You boring, professional you. You are the definition of ambition which is really fucking awesome, but the fact that you chose a social media platform that offers absolutely no videos of babies cursing or people eating shit on hover boards, I'm willing to guess there is a lack of personality there. What's up business major? You're all about networking and moving up the professional ladder and know that LinkedIn only helps you with both of those things.

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Annoying Things People Do on Snapchat

Ask yourself before you post: Does this provide added value?

Tan lines. No one cares. Genuinely, NO ONE CARES. You are the only person who cares about your tan lines, so keep it to yourself. Take photos of them and stick them up on your bedroom wall, if you want. Just don't put it up on your Snap story please.

Snapchatting scenes from a movie/show. Spoilers are the worst kind of people in this world. Lower than people who listen to Macklemore. Lower than people who put the milk in before the cereal. No one likes a spoiler, so stop putting up clips of shows and movies on Snapchat.

Lip synching. Are you trying to show us that you have the ability to rap? That you know the words to the song? Oh you know the words to Hotline Bling like everyone else? Congrats.

Posting a video of your feet walking on the street. We get it, you have shoes and/or pants. Most of us have those items, as well.

Club snapchats. If you're having such a great night, why do you have the time to video it to send to everyone? Shouldn't you be, you know, enjoying the night? Stop it.

Snaps of your dog. Or cat for that matter. We don't give a damn how cute you think your pet is. If your pet isn't attacking someone or having a seizure, don't send me a snap of it. You playing fetch with your dog in a park is not interesting enough to occupy 8 seconds of my life. Watching a dog chase a stick and bring it back to its owner is not 8 seconds well spent.

Snaps of your parents. Your dad's weak jokes are not funny and your mom not realizing it's a video is not funny either.

Sending me the same shit you put in your story. It's not just saddening, but irritating too. Getting a notification for no reason when it's already in the story is v annoying. Some of us have lives to live outside of our iPhones. Plus, I don't appreciate the false hope of thinking someone loves me enough to send me a personalized snap, when they've actually sent it to everyone.