Since the election, I've heard our current President compared to a lot of things (most of them not very nice, but richly deserved nonetheless). Cheetos, orangutans, Oompa Loompas, the list goes on and on.
Yes, the American people have been endlessly creative in coming up with epithets and funny comparisons for our Covfefe-in-chief.
Andy Serkis just proved that we missed the most obvious comparison out there.
The renowned actor appeared on Stephen Colbert's Late Show to discuss his upcoming role in War for the Planet of the Apes, and while Colbert and Serkis were discussing the motion capture technique for which Serkis has become famous, everyone's favorite Ring-hoarding creepy crawler came up.
That's right, Gollum (nee Smeagol).
Some of you didn't get that.
Gollum. You know, the bad posture-having, creepy-finger-groping, no-sense-making, disgusting, pathetic little creature with really gross hair and bad sentence structure. Lives in his own carefully-constructed mental world grasping his gold and makes odd hissing sounds at shit that makes him unhappy.
Sound familiar, maybe? You see where this is going?
Naturally, while this little weirdo (Gollum, for clarification) was being talked about, Colbert asked Serkis to read a few of Trump's well-known - and highly entertaining - tweets in his signature Gollum voice. Serkis agreed, and hopped up onto his chair.
And then I completely lost my shit.
I guess Donald Trump's late-night rants about "fake news" and "alternative facts" weren't funny enough in my internal monologue, because they fit Gollum like a dream.
Those of us who have seen the Lord of the Rings movies know how much time Gollum/Smeagol spends babbling morbid nonsense to himself in the middle of the night, so I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised that his voice fit so well with the structure of the President's infamous tweets.
Similarly, Gollum is a paranoid little cretin, and Trump's constant conspiracy theory-style rants sound like they could have been written for Peter Jackson's script.
Except, of course, for the word "covfefe." I never knew I needed to hear Gollum say that word, but I know it now, and I'm pretty sure I blacked out from lack of air after he said it the first time.
God knows we could all use a little levity to stave off the general despair of our current Presidential administration, and this is the perfect way to get it. Check the video out here, my Precious.