One of the hardest parts about day drinking and being a female is getting ready to go out for the night, while already being drunk. If you've ever tried to shower, shave, and apply winged eyeliner while under the influence, you know what I'm talking about.
We've all been there. You started drinking at noon for a tailgate, a beach day, or just for the hell of it and by 6 p.m., it's time to get ready to go out cause your favorite club at school has free cover for ladies before 10, you gotta get there in time!
While you're plastered from a day filled with binge drinking and cornhole, you are faced with the elaborate task of getting fully ready for a night out when all you actually wanna do is take a "nap" and probably not wake up until the next morning. Keeping up with the college lifestyle isn't always easy.
1. You're literally so tired
After a day of pounding beers and taking shots, it seems like the reasonable thing to do would be to go to sleep just like you would after a night out. But no, you're gonna force yourself to rally no matter how miserable you truly feel!
2. Showering is dangerous
Your hair is pretty nappy from being blown around by the wind all day and there's probably some beer in there too. You gotta get cleaned up, but a drunk shower is no easy feat, especially when you have to shave. Drunk shaving is extremely dangerous, but sometimes you can't avoid it, just like the numerous razor cuts that are about to cover your legs and maybe any other area that needed to be cleaned up.
3. Making plans
You're trying to text your girls in order to finalize plans whilst being drunk, what could go wrong? Everything in your texts are spelled incorrectly, but luckily your friends are either used to this or also drunk and are able to decode what would seem like gibberish to other people.
4. Trying to eat
You can't go out on an empty stomach but you're in no condition to cook a four-course meal. Looks like dinner is a bag of chips! Healthy right?
5. Makeup is complicated
This is by far the hardest challenge. Trying to do a full face of makeup while drunk is something that can only be accomplished by the most dedicated of partiers. Contouring and winged eyeliner are hard enough to do perfectly while sober, so adding alcohol to the mix only makes it that much harder. Keep your makeup remover handy because you probably will have to start over more than once until you don't look like a 12-year-old who just started experimenting with mom's makeup supplies.
6. Take caution to curling irons
If you're lucky enough to like your natural hair and wear it out then, this step isn't a problem for you, but for the girls who choose to curl or straighten their hair before going out are gonna be in for a world of hurt. I can't imagine that drunkenly handling hot irons is the safest thing. If you're not careful, you'll probably complete this challenge with a few burns to show for it.
7. Choosing an outfit
Probably the easiest of all the tasks because even drunk girls know when an outfit is cute or not. But still, if it takes you a long time to soberly choose an outfit, imagine how long that will take if you're drunk.
8. Wearing heels out
You got to wear sandals to the day drink, but now that the stars are out, it's time to throw on some four inch pumps. Usually after drinking you brave the streets and walk home barefoot, or if you're lucky, a gentlemen will give you his shoes while he walks barefoot (he's a keeper). But you haven't even made it out yet, and you have to wear those shoes even though you're already stumbling and it hurts like hell.
9. Tracking down essentials
Phone, keys, wallet. You need all these things in order to leave the house, your wallet needs to contain your ID and some cash and you probably can't leave the house without Chapstick either. But after your crazy day, it takes you 40 minutes to track down your purse and ensure that all the necessities are inside.
10. The pregame struggle
Like I said before, all you truly wanna do is go to sleep. But instead, you are going to force yourself to rally and take shots like a champ. The night is young and you can't lose the buzz from the day that is slowly fading with the completion of each task. So time to put your drunk getting ready skills to the test and get ready for round two!