10 Reasons Why They Should Make Another "Fast And Furious" Movie
FakeU |  Source: L. Smith, The Ringer

10 Reasons Why They Should Make Another "Fast And Furious" Movie

Everyone should be pumped!

Talks have been circulating this week over the release of the 19th Fast and Furious prequel. Fans across the world have been eagerly anticipating a final verdict on this decision. The past 18 movies have always destroyed the box office, so it seems like a no-brainer, right?

Here are 10 reasons why they should make the 19th prequel:

1. A Paul Walker hologram is promised in this one.

2. The Rock and Vin Diesel have agreed to actually kill each other this time.

3. The film will only feature Toyota Priuses.

4. You know new music from Ludacris will be on the soundtrack.

5. All stunts will be performed with CGI and special effects, no boring human actors.

6. There is a 12-minute fight scene filmed entirely during a single skydive.

7. This movie allegedly breaks the record for most explosions on set.

8. Every ticket sold comes with a complimentary 36 oz. can of Red Bull.

9. Dom breaks the record for quickest commute from Manhattan to Brooklyn.

10. Director Rob Cohen promises a Rotten Tomato score of 33 percent score or higher.

I don't know about you, but I will be front row on the premiere date if this masterpiece ever hits the big screen.

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The Five Stages of Receiving Nude Texts

If you're reading this, it's too LIT

It happened unexpectedly. I was sitting in the dining hall with my roommates when my phone buzzed. As I shoved the rest of a sandwich into my face hole, I reached into my pocket to check who it was. Little did I know, a pair of boobs would greet my eyes. What happened next was a 60 second emotional journey similar to what I think Vin Diesel feels in every Fast and The Furious movie. It was fuckin' nuts, and I am sure you will experience the same thing if and when you receive a nude.

Stage 1: Shit Is Lit

When you see that nude pic, you're going to act like a twelve-year-old at a sleepover. It's inevitable. Your body will be pure endorphins for 10 seconds. Enjoy the ride. Shit is lit as hell.

Stage 2: WTF?!

"Wait, why the fuck are they sending this to me? Sure, I jokingly asked for one, but I didn't think they would actually do it! What's happening?!" Howdy, my friend. You have entered the WTF stage: nothing makes sense and the Insane Clown Posse is still terrifying.

Stage 3: Show and Tell

After you escape the WTF phase, you're going to want to show everyone--even the rando you never talk to in your Poli Sci class.Whether or not this is your first nude text, you will feel the need to prove that this actually happened. Quick piece of advice: Don't do that. A nude is incredibly personal. The individual sending is entrusting you that their business is not shared, even though they sent it to you via the interwebs.

Stage 4: Arousal

This is pretty self-explanatory. Whether or not you wanted to receive a nude text, chances are you're going to feel a tinge of arousal. Your mind and body will be experiencing emotions quickly and uncontrollably. Even if the nude is not necessarily attractive, it'll prob go six to midnight.

Stage 5: Sus As Hell

After you go through this mental tidal wave, your brain will be exhausted. As the emotional dust settles, your mind will make one more sharp turn. The joy of seeing a naked body has almost certainly waned at this point. Delight has now turned to suspicion. "Is anybody looking at my phone right now? What if this is a prank? Oh, god what if someone steals my phone and sees this? I gotta get out of here!" What was originally lit is now sus. You will be bolting to the nearest private room, simultaneously trying to cover your boner.

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FakeU |  Source: L. Smith, Shutterstock

Why Car Racing Games Are Boring

I said it.

With so many interesting and diverse genres of video games out today, it's unsurprising that car racing games exist and are still popular.

People like going fast. The ability to drive a car really, really freaking fast with no real-life consequence is thrilling, especially when you attract police attention and have to out-maneuver them (I think of Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit as I type this).

If you haven't gathered already, my dabbling in racing sims died on the PS2. Maybe it's because I'm a "lol dumb girl," or because I never had any vested interest in cars prior that could solidify my desires to race virtual cars really fast, but really, it just got boring.

Yeah, mechanics can vary from game to game, but most of the time you're just either racing on an actual racetrack, playing a rip-off of the Fast and Furious series or both.

Yes, you can play mad bumper cars that end in explosions (very nice) but why should we do the same thing every time? The only appeal, really, is testing out newer, sleeker models you'll never be able to afford.

A lot of the hype also dies when you are actually of age to get your license and do some driving in reality. Once you actually get the little thrill of driving above 60 irl, or even that sneaky 90+, making a virtual car go vroom and smacking into other cars, buildings and landmarks just doesn't have the same appeal.

Granted, Dirt 4 is currently rocking a 9.2 score on IGN, but here's the issue: normal gamers these days aren't interested in the genre anymore. While critics and reviewers might have glowing, gushing praise for a game (that isn't doing anything new), I have not seen a single word about it outside of critic reviews.

My friends don't care, I don't care, I haven't seen anybody care. Why? Because it's stale.

That's probably why Rocket League became so weirdly popular, a hybrid car-soccer game where you drive around and attempt to score goals on the other team. Cars in a new, interesting dynamic, who'd have guessed? Mario Kart will be popular forever since it's accessible even to people who don't play video games, but what's the draw for the entire racing sim genre?

There's a reason that car games aren't at the forefront of the industry anymore... only the diehards are still playing.

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FakeU |  Source: L. Smith, Artstation

Is The New Guillermo del Toro Movie Actually A Prequel To "Hellboy"?

Guillermo Del Toro is finally back.

Fans of Guillermo del Toro, rejoice! The amazing director is back from his brief hiatus (if four years is brief) with a film his fans are sure to love.

The upcoming movie, The Shape of Water, had the internet buzzing the second the trailer was released and it's easy to see why.

As a fan of Del Toro's work, I quickly noticed that his distinctive style shines through, and The Shape of Water seems to be inspired by one of his other films, Pan's Labyrinth, which has the perfect blend of fantasy and horror. I'm going to assume this film will be the same considering its R rating.

It's about a mute woman working as a janitor during the 1960s. The lab she cleans is home to an amphibious man that she eventually befriends and attempts to release from captivity. An interesting premise, no?

While watching the trailer, I couldn't help but notice that one of the characters looked eerily familiar. Specifically, the unnamed creature. He bears some fairly obvious resemblances to one of del Toro's other characters: Abe from the Hellboy series. Not only are they both amphibious, but they happen to be played by the same actor, Doug Jones. There's also a scene where the character eats a hardboiled egg, which everyone knows Abe has a fondness for.

A coincidence? I think not!

Are we finally getting the Hellboy prequel-slash-spinoff we never asked for but still desperately needed?

With little else to work off of besides this trailer, we'll have to be patient, but I for one wouldn't be surprised if this movie ties into some of del Toro's other films.

It'll be out on December 18.

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FakeU |  Source: FlockU, Shutterstock

A Different Kind Of Case Race: The Fast And Furious Challenge

Don't slow down.

With the highly anticipated release of the Fate of the Furious, my friends and I decided to commemorate the franchise with a race of our own. We each attempted to drink a full case throughout the duration of the seven films (an adaption of the commonly practiced Lord of the Rings Trilogy case race).

The Fast and Furious franchise has taught us that though things may sometimes appear really shitty on the surface, it can still be fun, entertaining, and surprisingly emotional. I've found that this applies to The Bachelor (except for Nic, that dude was way too uncharismatic), Jersey Shore (both the location and TV Show) and Eli Manning (I mean look at the guy).

However, this challenge is not so deceptive. It's shitty through and through, but so are marathons and climbing Mount Everest. You do these things for the experience, the Instagram, and to tell everybody else that you did it.

I assure you the challenge will not be easy -- it's right behind a "backflip on a trampoline" in the list of the most difficult things I've ever done. You'll walk away from the journey with an undying love for Vin Diesel and a level of intoxication too high to drive in even Mario Kart.

Things you will need:

  • To hate yourself
  • A case of beer
  • A white t-shirt with sleeves cut off
  • A sharpie
  • Access to all seven movies
  • Tissues
  • The stomach of 10 time Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest Winner Joey "Jaws" Chestnut
  • Family, because if you've never seen the movies (or "Lilo and Stitch"), it's basically the most important word ever and I have to include it in this list
  • A Saturday to waste
  • A Sunday to also waste
  • Maybe a Monday, too

So let's do some math. The run time of the films is about 14.5 hours. Thirty beers in 14.5 hours means you have to drink about two beers an hour. That doesn't sound too bad right? Well there are some things you have to account for.

In order to successfully complete the challenge you'll have to wake up around 7 AM. You will fall asleep after the first 10-15 beers and if you don't there is a zero percent chance you remain awake through the duration of Tokyo Drift.

If you do not eat, you will die.

It's inevitable, but the rule is you can't force it.

Fast Five. Enough said.

At the end of it all, hours will go by where you will consume no beers, so it's key that you chug when your body allows it.

The t-shirt and sharpie is for your beer count. We stole this from the It's Always Sunny episode where the gang attempted the Wade Boggs Challenge. This is very important when you wake up and don't remember the 20 beers tallied on your chest.

The last bit of advice I have is you have to know when to leave members of your party behind. The answer: never.

Not everyone will finish the case, but everyone better finish the movies. The challenge isn't about drinking just like the movies aren't about driving. Both the case race and the franchise are about doing ridiculous shit, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (who will carry you like he carried movies five, six, and seven), and family.

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FakeU |  Source: FlockU, Wikia

Disney Just Announced Release Dates For Frozen 2 And A New Lion King

And Seth Rogan will be in one for some reason.

As finals week attempts to darken your upcoming days, Disney is doing everything in their power to prevent that gloom by announcing release dates for the highly anticipated Frozen 2 and even more so, the live action remake of The Lion King.

Frozen 2 will hit the theaters during prime time movie season, right around Thanksgiving. Specifically, November 27th 2019. Unfortunately, we face over a two and a half year wait for the sequel, but the upside is that it can only mean Disney is planning to make this an absolutely spectacular film.

Slightly sooner, however, is the live action (but not really, because CGI) remake of The Lion King, which will be showing starting July 19th, 2019! It has already been announced that Donald Glover (AKA Childish Gambino) would play Simba, James Earl Jones will return as Mufasa, and even Beyonce is considering voicing Nala.

Recently, there were also two more casting announcements made, and fans' prayers have been answered! Billy Eichner will play Timon, and in what is arguably the greatest, most perfect decision ever, Seth Rogen will play Pumbaa!

I mean, come on, just imagine how hard you're going to laugh when you hear him singing the intro to "Can You Feel The Love Tonight".

These two films are already marked in my calendar, and are certainly ones not to miss, but you don't need me to tell you that.